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#821697
Kelleo
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Still hurts 
its now been over a year since my little ginger and white boy was run down and killed by a police car, i can still remember putting him out at night, even though my husband said to leave it and he would put him out after he finished sorting stuff before we went to bed, i blame myself because of this as i insisted on putting him out there and then, i gave him a big hug and told him i loved him and put him out, he tried to come back in but i put him out again and shut the door. if my husband put him out ten minutes later he wouldnt have been at that point at the same time the car came along. when i went to bed i deleted the only video i had of him on my phone as i thought its ok i will take another longer better one of him tomorrow. it was 1.22 in the morning when i heard a knock at the door, i unusually woke to it, im a very heavy sleeper, and when i put my head out the window a cop asked if i owned a little bozo cat called Teddy, i said yes and my husband immediately got up and ran to the door, the next thing i new was hearing Ted’s little bell, and i called to my husband and asked if there was something wrong whilst hurridly putting on clothes, and whether we should take him to the vets if anything bad had happened, then i realised, i heard the bell because my husband had Teddys collar in his hands, my whole world fell apart, the policeman gave Teddy to my husband, he was still warm, and the only thing i could see was wrong with him was his little jaw was broken. i really wanted him cremated when he died, but as it was the middle of the night all we could do was bury him. i cuddled him and cried with him in my hands for nearly 2 hours. it was april last year when he died, and even today i look at pictures of him and tears well up, he was only 8 months old, and my husband brought him for me at a very hard time in my life, i just dont seem to be able to get over this terrible loss, he was so loving, and more like a dog than a cat, he came when he was called, answered the door with me, and loved my kids adn it didnt matter how much they pulled him about he never even thought about getting his claws out. the worst thing is, he buried in my back garden and we will be moving in the near future and i cant stand the thought of leaving him here. i feel so awful  i know most people say ’it was only a cat’ or ’it was so long ago just get over it’ but i cant seem to let go. has anyone got any ideas of what i could do when we move?
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